The Necklace I Couldn't Untangle

Greetings! It has been awhile. ... I have occasionally thought and prayed for the Lord to put on my heart something to share on this blog—generally that is my principle for posting here—I do so when the Lord gives me a word or idea. So that means I may post once a month for three months, or I might post once a year. Whenever the Spirit inspires!

The above picture: I took an impromptu day of retreat and rest today. I took the time to do mundane things—sort through boxes, fold clothes, put things in order, look through old papers, and to pray for a longer period of time. One thing I did was sort through my jewelry box.

Since moving here from Michigan three months ago, my jewelry box hasn't been quite right. The necklaces and bracelets got all tangled, and today, I finally sorted through and untangled all the chains. All is straightened, purged, and in good order now...every drawer, every item in every little compartment. Some of us probably get too much satisfaction from stuff like this—I think I like this stuff because things like this reinforce the silly notion that I actually have some control over my life. :)  So I finished the project with total success. ... Except I couldn't untangle the one in the background of this picture.

I love this bracelet and necklace set. I remember, two years ago, it was a gift for my birthday from my Grandma, from a Farmer's Market vendor in Muskegon, Michigan. I liked it because it was three chains, with lots of detail, sparkled—you get the idea. I liked it!

But the necklace and bracelet get easily tangled and both are delicate, and I didn't think about these things when I picked them out. In fact, I untangled the bracelet, but I am still working on the necklace! There's another chain tangled with it...another project for another day, maybe involving tweezers or pliers.

I was working on the bracelet and then the necklace, working pretty hard on it, when the voice of the Lord broke into my thoughts and heart. He said, "Lynne, you don't have to figure it out. It's okay that this doesn't get fully untangled today. Just leave it. Wear the bracelet; leave the necklace. Like you, these things are beautiful...and some aspects of you are untangled...others, not so much...but you shine, you are precious in my sight, I love you...and the rest of the knots in you where I have more for you, they'll untangle themselves by My Hand, in My time."

I share this story in hopes that the Lord use it as a word of encouragement and consolation for anyone who is reading this post. As a dear friend often says to me, "We are all cracked pots." We are all sinners, and we are loved and precious in the sight of the Lord. These things aren't mutually exclusive. Even more than the way in which I had to take care to untangle every bit of that necklace chain does the Lord care for me. Untangling this chain has not been on my priority list since I moved here...and yet, always in God's mind and thoughts is my heart, and the places where there are still little knots, little places that aren't quite smooth. St. Peter says, "Cast your cares on Him, for He cares for you." I am, generally speaking, an impatient, perfectionist, plan-ny, sort of person. And God still loves me and has a plan for my life. :) Had I not been gentle and slow-moving with all the chains, earrings, and bracelets I had to untangle today, I would've broken the majority of all the jewelry I own. :)

So, today, the necklace still isn't wearable, because there are a couple of small but important knots in it. But I'm not working on it anymore today. I'm leaving it unfinished. I actually can't finish it right now because I'm actually off to Confession! I was struck by this, too...I can't finish untangling this chain because I want to go to Confession. I've been reading a book by Basilia Schlink on repentance, and have found myself thirsting for confession and repentance...thirsting for it! Thirsting to tell God all about the tangles, delicate knots in my life that I just can't figure out. I can't untangle myself—only He can. I need Him. Would that He give us all a thirst for repentance. ...

Retreats, reflection, silence, untangling the details and looking at the things we don't necessarily want to look at, confession, repentance, sorrow, joy, drawing close to the Lord, letting Him heal and mend us with gentleness and wisdom ... all just a part of another day, walking in covenant relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ. :)

Morning Prayer Paradox

In my prayer this morning, the Lord said to me, "You need to come to me each day, so that I can tell you how much I love you."

This word reminded me, yet again, of the way my relationship with the Lord works, how a perfectly loving relationship works.

We come to the Lord in the morning to pray, and it's still so easy for me to fall into the trap of thinking that when I come to him in my morning prayer, I am the one doing something and taking initiative. But that isn't true. I'm not doing something truly "for" the Lord, and I'm never the one taking initiative. But it is amazing how quickly I forget such spiritual truth if I'm not finding ways to practice it in my every day life. The paradox is that, even in my worship of him, even if I fool myself into thinking I am truly doing something that benefits the Lord, the reality is that my worship of him is doing a lot of good for me! This is because I am doing something I was made to do, something that, in the best way possible, benefits me. This is incredible!

It was easy to repent this morning of my attitude that "I" do something for the Lord when I come to him in prayer. I think this attitude is something I shall probably repent of until I see him face-to-face for all eternity. :)

By his very nature, he focuses on us, so much so that, even when we turn to him, his gaze isn't fixed on himself but on us. He wants us to learn how to do the same, to fix our gaze on the Other instead of ourselves and to fix our gaze on those who need our particular love, his love flowing through us, each day. That's one reason why we need to come to him in prayer. We practice proper loving; he teaches us through an experience of being in friendship with him how to love and serve others. There is no better teacher.

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Note:

I had forgotten until recently that I had mainly started this blog because I'd experienced God asking me to in a personal prayer time several years ago.

For however long this lasts and it seems like he wants me to keep this blog active, I will. I pray it's a blessing to others! It is a blessing to share God's work in my life with others.

More dark chocolate inspiration, Catherine of Sienna, and the empty tomb.

All right, yesterday my Dove chocolate wrapper said, "Open your eyes to all the love around you."

So cheesy right? And yet, it inspired me to write again.

At certain times in our lives, it may be a lot easier to believe that there isn't love all around each of us, that we aren't infinitely loved by a loving Heavenly Father, and also that we aren't appreciated, accepted, and esteemed by most, if not all, of the people in our acquaintance.

I believe that each of us is hard-wired to want to believe the best of others, see the best in others, and appreciate and cherish what is good in others. Deep down, that is our God-given default setting. It's protecting and growing that capacity in us that can be tricky. Fear, pride, confusion, the attack of the evil one all distort our ability to think clearly and to believe fully. It's getting back to our nature, I think, the way we were originally designed by God, that should be our goal. It should be encouraging to realize that we are cooperating with God's desire for us!

When you can believe that you are infinitely loved and perhaps much more esteemed and appreciated by people than you might think, suddenly, much more is possible than you could have ever dreamt or imagined. Love gives birth to freedom. The love that the Lord has for each of us frees us to live with courage and joy and allows to drink deeply from the well of salvation and joy that never, never runs dry.

This isn't simply another version of the "power of positive thinking" model that I am trying to employ. This is actually the truth that Christians are called to live in the light of. It's a choice that we put into practice each moment of each day, in the face of everything from mundane annoyances to terrific hardships—we are still invited to live in this truth; we hunger to live out of this truth.

If you can't believe that miracles happen, if you can't believe that they happen in and through you because you are God's beloved child, servant, and instrument, then how will you do what Saint Catherine of Sienna calls people to do? "Be who God meant you to be, and you will set the world on fire."

We aren't the source of our strength and power, but we are surrounded by and immersed in God who is.

So, open your eyes. Open your eyes to the love that God has for you right now, in this moment. Open your eyes to the love that those around you, those whom you know well and those who don't, have for you. Open your eyes to the great things that the Lord wants to do in and through you and also, for you, because of his great love, he who, by nature is Love Itself.

What would we do and how would we live each moment of each day if we lived in the light of this truth?

The choice is for us to make. We can either, like Mary Magdalene, stand right outside Jesus's empty tomb and weep and fret because the tomb is empty, or we can choose to believe that the tomb is empty because Jesus has risen from the dead and is alive, is exactly who he says he is and is perfectly faithful to all that he has said.

Wherever we are, there is great hope for us. The Lord is near, and he quietly asks each of us, with great love and compassion, "Why are you crying?" Just as God searches for Adam in the garden, just as the shepherd searches relentlessly for the one missing sheep, so does Jesus search for us, wherever we are—and he will go on searching for us, for as long as it takes. Why are we crying? It's not an accusation; he wants to know. May we let him bring us to a place of freedom, joy, and peace.

Something Unreligious

I have a little table in my room, with "spiritual stuff" on it—a rosary (I am Roman Catholic), a diptych from some dear friends that has icons of Mary, the mother of Jesus, on one side, and Jesus on the other side, an alarm clock I've had since elementary school (okay, also not religious), a set of intercession "flash cards" that have the many things I pray for written down, so that I don't have to remember them afresh all the time…and finally, a Dove dark chocolate wrapper—by far the most unreligious thing on this little table.

I have been on a Dove dark chocolate kick, and I always am amused by the little sayings on the wrappers. Most of the time, the sayings are silly. But occasionally, I admit that I find the messages encouraging. There was one in-particular though, that I read on the right day. And it said: 

Love every moment.

Well, I put the wrapper on my little religious stuff table (and I look at it several times a day now), because the message on the wrapper has been a very important lesson that God has been teaching me.

If I give my life to Jesus Christ, this means that I give every day, every hour, every moment to him. He wants me to live and to love every moment of this precious gift of life he has given to me! God didn't create me so that I could suffer and survive life, by the skin of my teeth, but to drink deeply and to enjoy and love life fully. 

I've been slowly reading one book that speaks on the theme of joy in every day Christian life, Champagne for the Soul by Mike Mason. I am always struck by the short, one or two-page chapters, each of which starts with a verse from Scripture, and how in each chapter, Mason is able to hit on profound themes such as sorrow, grief, loss, mystery, suffering, etc., and yet, challenge the reader to bask in the daily, childlike joy that he waits desperately to lavish on us each day. In the first couple of chapters, I may have thought, "Is this guy for real?" I thought it might be sort-of cheesy and cliche religious writing. But no—the personal anecdotes and themes are authentic, and so I've been challenged to live my life as authentically and in-the-moment as Mason clearly does.

Speaking of authenticity: this is another key word that God has been speaking to me. And living in vulnerability. I've been steeping myself in the work of Dr. Brene Brown and focusing on her mantras of "daring greatly" and having the "courage to be vulnerable." She talks about Teddy Roosevelt's "Man In the Arena" speech in one of the most compelling talks I've ever heard.

In the talk, Dr. Brown speaks about how ultimately empowering and life-giving it is to live in-relation to others, to be authentic, to be vulnerable. 

Well, it occurred to me several weeks ago that no one has made himself more vulnerable and taken more initiative to do so than God. He made himself vulnerable the moment he gave his people free will, the moment he put the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil in Eden. Jesus Christ made himself vulnerable by becoming a man, by becoming one who could be wounded. On Good Friday, I heard a sermon on how even from the Cross, Jesus Christ was teaching us, teaching us how to live, how to give and lay down our lives for one another…and I would add, how to live authentically, how to love unconditionally and whole-heartedly. Jesus wasn't thinking about himself while he was on the Cross; he was utterly preoccupied with love, crazy love, for me, for you, for the world, I have to believe. 

So, authenticity, courage, vulnerability, daring greatly, loving wholeheartedly, loving every moment, letting yourself love every moment—these are some of the key words for my life right now. 

As I continue to face the ups and downs of life that all people face, I find that working to "love every moment" buoys me up, puts a smile on my face, and yes, while it sometimes takes a little courage and discomfort to get into, isn't that hard to embrace eventually. 

May each of us drink deeply of the joy that God our Father has for us right now, for this joy, the gift of joy he has for each of us, truly is "champagne" for our hearts and souls. Cheers!