Greetings! It has been awhile. ... I have occasionally thought and prayed for the Lord to put on my heart something to share on this blog—generally that is my principle for posting here—I do so when the Lord gives me a word or idea. So that means I may post once a month for three months, or I might post once a year. Whenever the Spirit inspires!
The above picture: I took an impromptu day of retreat and rest today. I took the time to do mundane things—sort through boxes, fold clothes, put things in order, look through old papers, and to pray for a longer period of time. One thing I did was sort through my jewelry box.
Since moving here from Michigan three months ago, my jewelry box hasn't been quite right. The necklaces and bracelets got all tangled, and today, I finally sorted through and untangled all the chains. All is straightened, purged, and in good order now...every drawer, every item in every little compartment. Some of us probably get too much satisfaction from stuff like this—I think I like this stuff because things like this reinforce the silly notion that I actually have some control over my life. :) So I finished the project with total success. ... Except I couldn't untangle the one in the background of this picture.
I love this bracelet and necklace set. I remember, two years ago, it was a gift for my birthday from my Grandma, from a Farmer's Market vendor in Muskegon, Michigan. I liked it because it was three chains, with lots of detail, sparkled—you get the idea. I liked it!
But the necklace and bracelet get easily tangled and both are delicate, and I didn't think about these things when I picked them out. In fact, I untangled the bracelet, but I am still working on the necklace! There's another chain tangled with it...another project for another day, maybe involving tweezers or pliers.
I was working on the bracelet and then the necklace, working pretty hard on it, when the voice of the Lord broke into my thoughts and heart. He said, "Lynne, you don't have to figure it out. It's okay that this doesn't get fully untangled today. Just leave it. Wear the bracelet; leave the necklace. Like you, these things are beautiful...and some aspects of you are untangled...others, not so much...but you shine, you are precious in my sight, I love you...and the rest of the knots in you where I have more for you, they'll untangle themselves by My Hand, in My time."
I share this story in hopes that the Lord use it as a word of encouragement and consolation for anyone who is reading this post. As a dear friend often says to me, "We are all cracked pots." We are all sinners, and we are loved and precious in the sight of the Lord. These things aren't mutually exclusive. Even more than the way in which I had to take care to untangle every bit of that necklace chain does the Lord care for me. Untangling this chain has not been on my priority list since I moved here...and yet, always in God's mind and thoughts is my heart, and the places where there are still little knots, little places that aren't quite smooth. St. Peter says, "Cast your cares on Him, for He cares for you." I am, generally speaking, an impatient, perfectionist, plan-ny, sort of person. And God still loves me and has a plan for my life. :) Had I not been gentle and slow-moving with all the chains, earrings, and bracelets I had to untangle today, I would've broken the majority of all the jewelry I own. :)
So, today, the necklace still isn't wearable, because there are a couple of small but important knots in it. But I'm not working on it anymore today. I'm leaving it unfinished. I actually can't finish it right now because I'm actually off to Confession! I was struck by this, too...I can't finish untangling this chain because I want to go to Confession. I've been reading a book by Basilia Schlink on repentance, and have found myself thirsting for confession and repentance...thirsting for it! Thirsting to tell God all about the tangles, delicate knots in my life that I just can't figure out. I can't untangle myself—only He can. I need Him. Would that He give us all a thirst for repentance. ...
Retreats, reflection, silence, untangling the details and looking at the things we don't necessarily want to look at, confession, repentance, sorrow, joy, drawing close to the Lord, letting Him heal and mend us with gentleness and wisdom ... all just a part of another day, walking in covenant relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ. :)
