An Advent Poem
When the world has gone to bed,
And evil awakens more,
Set yourself as lamp
Within the city of my soul.
Make me holy,
Whole, broken,
No more.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Monday, December 10, 2012
The Lord Gives Us Space
For the past 8 years that I have lived in Ann Arbor, I have worshiped at the same church for 7 of them. Of those 7 years, I have encountered the same individual sitting inside or near the church. One year, this individual sat in-front of my house, on the sidewalk, for the whole year. I saw him every day and felt he did not want me to talk to him or be near him, though he is the one who sat in-front of my house daily. Often "God bless him" floated across my lips, muttered as I, feeling helpless other than through offering up my prayers, rushed to class.
---
Today, I slipped inside the church to pray, and, as usual, my Friend was there. I asked him: "Can I help you? Do you need anything?" And the individual calmly responded: "Why do you think I need help? What made you think I am in-need?"
What I wanted to say was, well, we all are in-need. I have the same fundamental need for Jesus Christ that you have, sir. I wanted to pray with him, right then and there. I wanted to invite him to give his life to Jesus if he had not yet done so...the bittersweet reality of sitting just outside the sanctuary of the Lord yet perhaps not knowing him - that had been on my mind for this man for the past several years. The man was clearly in-need I thought - but I felt I wanted to, needed to, give him space. Six years later, and I still felt compelled to give him space. It was and is where he is at. But - and I think it was the Lord - I instead said, "Well, I see you here...and I've seen you here, often, for awhile...I was just wondering if there was anything I could do for you, to help you...I am sorry that I assumed that you needed any assistance from me..."
But this makes me think of my own condition. I am a sinner - I am right there with my Friend. I often sit just outside, on His doorstep, and I say, No, I'm fine with being just "this" close to you. I'm comfortable with just this much help from you, and I actually just want the help you offer when and how I want it. Often, I tell the Lord, No, I'm fine. What makes you think I need anything or need your help? Thanks anyways. And then, like the rich young man, I am sad. Like the older son, I am bitter.
But even then, it is okay, because the Lord waits for me! He won't force me to give my life to him; his love compels me to chose for it though. He is gentle, and he waits, unlike I, who can be so impatient. Today, He held my tongue by the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, and He taught me something about His ways - that He invites in freedom.
This Advent I am reminded that the Lord even went to the trouble of becoming a man so that he could draw near to me and meet me where I am. He has waited much longer than 6 years to bring me into his home, and he would wait much longer.
---
Today, I slipped inside the church to pray, and, as usual, my Friend was there. I asked him: "Can I help you? Do you need anything?" And the individual calmly responded: "Why do you think I need help? What made you think I am in-need?"
What I wanted to say was, well, we all are in-need. I have the same fundamental need for Jesus Christ that you have, sir. I wanted to pray with him, right then and there. I wanted to invite him to give his life to Jesus if he had not yet done so...the bittersweet reality of sitting just outside the sanctuary of the Lord yet perhaps not knowing him - that had been on my mind for this man for the past several years. The man was clearly in-need I thought - but I felt I wanted to, needed to, give him space. Six years later, and I still felt compelled to give him space. It was and is where he is at. But - and I think it was the Lord - I instead said, "Well, I see you here...and I've seen you here, often, for awhile...I was just wondering if there was anything I could do for you, to help you...I am sorry that I assumed that you needed any assistance from me..."
But this makes me think of my own condition. I am a sinner - I am right there with my Friend. I often sit just outside, on His doorstep, and I say, No, I'm fine with being just "this" close to you. I'm comfortable with just this much help from you, and I actually just want the help you offer when and how I want it. Often, I tell the Lord, No, I'm fine. What makes you think I need anything or need your help? Thanks anyways. And then, like the rich young man, I am sad. Like the older son, I am bitter.
But even then, it is okay, because the Lord waits for me! He won't force me to give my life to him; his love compels me to chose for it though. He is gentle, and he waits, unlike I, who can be so impatient. Today, He held my tongue by the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, and He taught me something about His ways - that He invites in freedom.
This Advent I am reminded that the Lord even went to the trouble of becoming a man so that he could draw near to me and meet me where I am. He has waited much longer than 6 years to bring me into his home, and he would wait much longer.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Playing Games
Yesterday, the Lord decided to show up in one of my classes. My professor said:
"Success creates opposition."
In the past year and one month, I have been pondering hardship, spiritual attack, and spiritual warfare, and what my teacher said yesterday sums up my experience over the past year and a half quite well: in the spiritual life, success creates opposition - it brings attack. Why is this? Because we're not playing a one-person game. It's a two-person game between the Lord Jesus Christ and Satan. Game theory applies to the Christian life. Our righteous, good decisions don't weigh neutral on the eternal scale; they throw the balance in the Lord's direction, and they also often create opposition and invite it.
Why do many Christians and others "lose" this game, any particular battle, they find themselves in? Because they don't believe they're playing a two-person game, and they aren't anticipating their opponent's actions. This is the art and necessity of spiritual warfare: it requires some game theory; it requires taking into consideration and trying to anticipate your opponent's actions and reactions. Not that we should become preoccupied with studying or thinking about Satan (!), but we also cannot live and act as if we do not have an opponent. We can pray that the Lord protects us and intervenes when we experience hardship, but consider that most of the time, He does not intervene with a lightening bolt from the sky or a thundering voice to scare away our problems or enemies but gives us His Spirit, so that we can fight the particular battle, play the particular game, that we find ourselves in. That is part of His gift and inheritance that He gives to us in making us His children. We have been made in His likeness, to play in His likeness. There is something of benefit to us, and there is glory given to Him, when we fully engage the battles, the games, He sends to us. We become more like Him when we play and think like Him.
Alongside my game theory course material, I continue to reflect on one particular article. When things have gotten a bit patchy over the past year, I have re-read this piece. In the article entitled "The Lord Loves a Good Game" Deacon Douglas McManaman writes:
"...we have to enjoy the battle, stay calm and play with wit, that is, with a shrewd mind. Archbishop Fulton Sheen used to say that discouragement is pride. It's God's world and it is His battle. Our task is to enter into the game, but we're His pieces, on His board, in His hand. Our job is to battle with joy, with peace, and with magnanimity, with charity and humility, and to rely on God, because He alone is in control."
McManaman also considers playing games alongside the Lord Jesus's command that "Unless you change and become as little children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven." For further study, one could meditate on the child-like faith that Jesus Christ describes and how it does not mean having an ignorant, weak, or immature faith as contemporary society would have us think but a strong, courageous, game-playing faith.
On a more biopsychosocial note, I also consider and wonder that the Lord has made us so that the foundation of who we are is formed when we are young, and that when we are young, we perhaps most often learn for the first time how to play many "games" of all kinds; engaging in game-playing, in playing, we know is actually central and a part of human development - for one's brain, muscles, etc. Think about babies, children, adolescents, and young adults - the act of playing is central, integral. Lessons are often taught through games; important work is accomplished through play. There is unanimous agreement that play is an important part of human development process.
The most important game we play is that in our life with the Lord. Our Father loves a good game as McManaman points out. The Lord cheers us on and loves teaching and shaping us through the games He lovingly and intentionally sends to us. Many people, sadly, have been manipulated, broken, and discouraged through the kinds of games that humans often play with other humans and the games that our Opponent plays with us. Our Lord does not play these kinds of games. He sends only those to us that will be for our well-being.
It's a true fact that no one ever taught me how to play volleyball, so to this day, I still can't play it. I have the slightest inkling that I might be missing out every time I attend a certain lakeside Christian training academy and sit on the sidelines (here's a half-hearted side appeal for someone to give me remedial v-ball lessons!). And it's not fun for me because I waddle my way through it. Let not our spiritual life be similar to my experience of v-ball. Let's not rue the spiritual life because we'd rather not take the time or fear to learn how to engage it. I think the Lord would encourage us to not miss out but to engage the games we find ourselves in, confident that He has already won victory for us through His Son Jesus Christ who is our teacher, peaceful as we bask in the Father's provident love for us.
---
Sources:
Deacon Douglas McManaman. "The Lord Loves a Good Game." Accessible at: http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/education/ed0407.htm.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Work, work, work
This past academic year, I spent a lot of time reflecting on the place of work in the Christian life. I had to think and pray about the thing I found myself doing so much of the time. I held a part-time job, an internship out of town, and a full load of classes in a field I'd never studied - I wasn't bored. I was utterly overwhelmed first semester. Can't tell you the number of days I dragged myself into God's presence and prayed for Him to give me the strength to get up and do it all again another day; He always did.
If I 'feel' overworked, sometimes, this is pointing to a need to step away from work. But it could mean that I am called to look at my work in a new way and to hand it over to God because this surrender is what holds the key to me being able to do all the work that God has for me to do, that is, the Father's will. I recommend the chapter in Discipline: The Glad Surrender by Elisabeth Elliot on work, "The Discipline of Work."
If anything, this year the Lord told me to 'Get busy! Get moving - do something!' I had lots to keep me busy; labor was on my 'plate' of life, so I had to let Him teach me how to be grateful for it all. He has taught me how to thank Him for the labor He gives me, how without gratitude and faith, I cannot carry the Lord's "easy yolk" and "light burden." I think a misconception that people have is that us having to work is a consequence of the Fall or that working hard is a kind of suffering when in reality, work existed before the Fall - man was made to work just as man was made to rest. What IS a consequence of the Fall is the struggle we face in balancing work and rest and the way in which we humans work and relate to work. But labor was a part of God's original design and is a part of who He is and what He does. We are made in His image, and so we are called to labor like Him and in relationship with Him, which is really fun sometimes!
There's a lot more I might say and still want to know about this topic. This post is just a meandering meditation/reflection on the area. Some of the Scriptures that have meant something to me this year on the topic have been:
-Genesis - meditating on how the Lord creates everything - that was work, and I've no doubt God delighted in it.
-Haggai 2 - the rebuilding of the temple - very inspiring and hard work that was only accomplished when everyone stopped focusing on their own work and focused on God's. The Holy Spirit inspired individuals to drop their own individual works and instead gave the people inspiration and strength to work, and work hard, toward the establishment of the temple.
-Revelation - part of what we see in Heaven is that God's people are "serving" Him day and night before His throne. When I read this some years ago, I was shocked and pondered. God's people aren't laying around on a beach drinking cool drinks in Heaven; they're worshiping and serving Him, for all eternity. Their work is a part of their worship; there isn't a separation between the two.
Speaking of the connection between work and worship, here is one last thought about surrender, about our inner disposition and how that can so transform our dull labor into restful, worshipful labor: Thomas Merton in No Man Is An Island writes this about work:
"With a right intention, you quietly face the risk of losing the fruit of your work. With a simple intention you renounce the fruit before you even begin. You no longer even expect it. Only at this price can your work also become a prayer."
What's our intention in our work? Do we have one, with every task we are given or take on? Do we aim for 'right' or for the 'simple' intention that Merton implies is the better intention? I take Merton's 'simple' intention to mean this: that we are made to work simply because we love and are always aiming to love and worship God. We are free to work very hard and to even take pleasure in it if we do so with this deep sense of rest, love, and adoration dwelling in our hearts and minds, that which, in Heaven, we will have in full. Merton's idea of a 'simple intention' is another way of saying that we are called to surrender our work to God, not even expecting 'fruit' from it but for God who can bear that fruit.
This is total abandonment to God's will. The paradox, of course, is that when we cease to expect fruit from our work, when our work becomes a prayer, this is the same moment in which our work bears the most fruit and when we are most free to work for God.
Many times, I asked Him this year, "Remind me, why am I doing this?" when I could have chosen to pray, "Remind me, I am doing this for You." There's no precedence for my "why's" because my "yes" is sufficient. I ask "Why" when I doubt, and I say "yes" when I have faith. With one year down and one to go in my graduate program, a year that will be again filled with: classes in a field I'm still just getting to know, another internship out of town doing new things, new ministries and services, and living in a place I've never lived, He has prepared me for more - more practice at setting aside my "why's", more practice at turning over my weakness, and more opportunities to see His Spirit at work in my life and others'. Last year, I was dreading it all. This time, I marvel at, thank, and praise Him for the work HE has quietly done in me, so much so that I am so looking forward to the adventure and cannot wait for it all to begin again. With His help, I know it will be a lot of fun and that He will be glorified! :)
If I 'feel' overworked, sometimes, this is pointing to a need to step away from work. But it could mean that I am called to look at my work in a new way and to hand it over to God because this surrender is what holds the key to me being able to do all the work that God has for me to do, that is, the Father's will. I recommend the chapter in Discipline: The Glad Surrender by Elisabeth Elliot on work, "The Discipline of Work."
If anything, this year the Lord told me to 'Get busy! Get moving - do something!' I had lots to keep me busy; labor was on my 'plate' of life, so I had to let Him teach me how to be grateful for it all. He has taught me how to thank Him for the labor He gives me, how without gratitude and faith, I cannot carry the Lord's "easy yolk" and "light burden." I think a misconception that people have is that us having to work is a consequence of the Fall or that working hard is a kind of suffering when in reality, work existed before the Fall - man was made to work just as man was made to rest. What IS a consequence of the Fall is the struggle we face in balancing work and rest and the way in which we humans work and relate to work. But labor was a part of God's original design and is a part of who He is and what He does. We are made in His image, and so we are called to labor like Him and in relationship with Him, which is really fun sometimes!
There's a lot more I might say and still want to know about this topic. This post is just a meandering meditation/reflection on the area. Some of the Scriptures that have meant something to me this year on the topic have been:
-Genesis - meditating on how the Lord creates everything - that was work, and I've no doubt God delighted in it.
-Haggai 2 - the rebuilding of the temple - very inspiring and hard work that was only accomplished when everyone stopped focusing on their own work and focused on God's. The Holy Spirit inspired individuals to drop their own individual works and instead gave the people inspiration and strength to work, and work hard, toward the establishment of the temple.
-Revelation - part of what we see in Heaven is that God's people are "serving" Him day and night before His throne. When I read this some years ago, I was shocked and pondered. God's people aren't laying around on a beach drinking cool drinks in Heaven; they're worshiping and serving Him, for all eternity. Their work is a part of their worship; there isn't a separation between the two.
Speaking of the connection between work and worship, here is one last thought about surrender, about our inner disposition and how that can so transform our dull labor into restful, worshipful labor: Thomas Merton in No Man Is An Island writes this about work:
"With a right intention, you quietly face the risk of losing the fruit of your work. With a simple intention you renounce the fruit before you even begin. You no longer even expect it. Only at this price can your work also become a prayer."
What's our intention in our work? Do we have one, with every task we are given or take on? Do we aim for 'right' or for the 'simple' intention that Merton implies is the better intention? I take Merton's 'simple' intention to mean this: that we are made to work simply because we love and are always aiming to love and worship God. We are free to work very hard and to even take pleasure in it if we do so with this deep sense of rest, love, and adoration dwelling in our hearts and minds, that which, in Heaven, we will have in full. Merton's idea of a 'simple intention' is another way of saying that we are called to surrender our work to God, not even expecting 'fruit' from it but for God who can bear that fruit.
This is total abandonment to God's will. The paradox, of course, is that when we cease to expect fruit from our work, when our work becomes a prayer, this is the same moment in which our work bears the most fruit and when we are most free to work for God.
Many times, I asked Him this year, "Remind me, why am I doing this?" when I could have chosen to pray, "Remind me, I am doing this for You." There's no precedence for my "why's" because my "yes" is sufficient. I ask "Why" when I doubt, and I say "yes" when I have faith. With one year down and one to go in my graduate program, a year that will be again filled with: classes in a field I'm still just getting to know, another internship out of town doing new things, new ministries and services, and living in a place I've never lived, He has prepared me for more - more practice at setting aside my "why's", more practice at turning over my weakness, and more opportunities to see His Spirit at work in my life and others'. Last year, I was dreading it all. This time, I marvel at, thank, and praise Him for the work HE has quietly done in me, so much so that I am so looking forward to the adventure and cannot wait for it all to begin again. With His help, I know it will be a lot of fun and that He will be glorified! :)
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Check this out - a summer plan
What are you doing this summer?
This is what I'm doing. Check it out:
http://youthworksdetroit.tumblr.com/
Whatever you do this summer, do it for the Lord.
This is what I'm doing. Check it out:
http://youthworksdetroit.tumblr.com/
Whatever you do this summer, do it for the Lord.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
On Humility
1. "Bless them; change me."
What a great four-word, four-syllable prayer of humility.
A friend shared this a couple weeks ago - they heard it at an event, and they passed it onto me, and now I offer it here.
This prayer has been haunting me and has had a great impact these past couple of weeks on me.
So I offer it here.
2. The Litany of Humility
by Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val (1865-1930),
Secretary of State for Pope Saint Pius X
O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...
That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I ...
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…
---
When I moved into my house, this prayer was hanging, very appropriately, on many a mirror. This year, next to the "Our Father" and a couple other prayers, this "Litany of Humility" has been a prayer I pray daily. It has taken some rehearsing and took some time to warm up to. I've become quite grateful for it now. On different days at different times for different reasons, various lines have kept me rooted and in the Lord's path.
3. Psalm 119
Finally, I pull in Psalm 119.
The longest Psalm, it's a 'litany' of devotion to walking in the way of the Lord, of committing oneself to Him, of obedience. My favorite verse:
"I shall run in the way of your commandment, O Lord,
For you have set my heart free" (v. 32).
Sunday, April 15, 2012
On Thanksgiving
“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you...” - 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18
Easter greetings!
The Word of Life Community spent the 40 Days meditating on the Holy Spirit, and the third meditation in a series had a focus on thanksgiving. As I studied the 1 Thessalonians passage, I was struck by how nearly every letter that Paul writes begins with a genuine note, a sizable portion, of affirmation and thanksgiving. I sat down, and I started reading the opening portion of every letter he wrote, and I was blown away by this disciple's ability to see the good and to have genuine expressed affection for all those whom he was serving and, often, writing to exhort to a greater degree of holiness.
I thought, wow, what might it be like if every email, text message, phone call, conversation, and letter that I, that we, wrote began with at least some kind of genuine note of thanksgiving and brotherly affection. What transformative power this cultural and Godly practice of frequent thanksgiving might stir among people today!
Try this: a friend once challenged me, when discouraged, to pray an alphabet of thanksgiving - begin with 'A' and thank God for something that begins with 'A,' then 'B,' and so forth until I find myself genuinely grateful and joyful once more. I'm not sure if I have ever reached 'Z' but I think I have gotten close! I continue to use this practical tool today.
Paul's gifting for affirmation, or his discipline of seeing and acknowledging his brethren's and his flocks' goodness, allowed him to see more clearly God's hand in their lives and to see their character with true clarity, discerned and inspired by the Holy Spirit. I imagine that this allowed him to exhort in love, made him an effective evangelist, and allowed him to live his life in this world with hope.
Many times, even daily, I am brought into broken places, broken lives, and how necessary I have found it to live more in thanksgiving and hope. I have found that continual thanksgiving and a "strengths-based" mindset (what we talk about in classes - very helpful) have born a steelier kind of hope and joy than I have previously experienced. Praise the Lord!
Easter greetings!
The Word of Life Community spent the 40 Days meditating on the Holy Spirit, and the third meditation in a series had a focus on thanksgiving. As I studied the 1 Thessalonians passage, I was struck by how nearly every letter that Paul writes begins with a genuine note, a sizable portion, of affirmation and thanksgiving. I sat down, and I started reading the opening portion of every letter he wrote, and I was blown away by this disciple's ability to see the good and to have genuine expressed affection for all those whom he was serving and, often, writing to exhort to a greater degree of holiness.
I thought, wow, what might it be like if every email, text message, phone call, conversation, and letter that I, that we, wrote began with at least some kind of genuine note of thanksgiving and brotherly affection. What transformative power this cultural and Godly practice of frequent thanksgiving might stir among people today!
Try this: a friend once challenged me, when discouraged, to pray an alphabet of thanksgiving - begin with 'A' and thank God for something that begins with 'A,' then 'B,' and so forth until I find myself genuinely grateful and joyful once more. I'm not sure if I have ever reached 'Z' but I think I have gotten close! I continue to use this practical tool today.
Paul's gifting for affirmation, or his discipline of seeing and acknowledging his brethren's and his flocks' goodness, allowed him to see more clearly God's hand in their lives and to see their character with true clarity, discerned and inspired by the Holy Spirit. I imagine that this allowed him to exhort in love, made him an effective evangelist, and allowed him to live his life in this world with hope.
Many times, even daily, I am brought into broken places, broken lives, and how necessary I have found it to live more in thanksgiving and hope. I have found that continual thanksgiving and a "strengths-based" mindset (what we talk about in classes - very helpful) have born a steelier kind of hope and joy than I have previously experienced. Praise the Lord!
Friday, April 6, 2012
A good day and Good Friday
Good Friday:
I attended a communion service at St. Aloysius in Detroit: www.stalsdetroit.com
-> very inspiring. takeaway from the sermon: until we enter into our own fears of abandonment, death, and loneliness, we will not be free to go out and seek those who have been abandoned, are dying, and are alone. Jesus Christ came for us, to free us from our fears!
I read the poem "Broken Vessels" at the YouCharist event at Real Church's Courage Coffee, a coffee house in downtown Hamtramck: http://www.hope4detroit.com
-> stories of young people moving to Hamtramck for mission, families hearing a call from the Lord to move to Detroit
-> really good coffee!
-> art.music.words.witness.videos.worship.prayers for Detroit.prayers for young people to give their lives to Jesus.fun.friends.strangers.laughter.brothers and sisters in God's family.surrender.beauty.the Cross.power.Holy Spirit.Gospel.hope.transformation.change.
God is moving in the city of Detroit, in His beautiful sons and daughters who are there. What a great Good Friday!
I attended a communion service at St. Aloysius in Detroit: www.stalsdetroit.com
-> very inspiring. takeaway from the sermon: until we enter into our own fears of abandonment, death, and loneliness, we will not be free to go out and seek those who have been abandoned, are dying, and are alone. Jesus Christ came for us, to free us from our fears!
I read the poem "Broken Vessels" at the YouCharist event at Real Church's Courage Coffee, a coffee house in downtown Hamtramck: http://www.hope4detroit.com
-> stories of young people moving to Hamtramck for mission, families hearing a call from the Lord to move to Detroit
-> really good coffee!
-> art.music.words.witness.videos.worship.prayers for Detroit.prayers for young people to give their lives to Jesus.fun.friends.strangers.laughter.brothers and sisters in God's family.surrender.beauty.the Cross.power.Holy Spirit.Gospel.hope.transformation.change.
God is moving in the city of Detroit, in His beautiful sons and daughters who are there. What a great Good Friday!
Saturday, March 31, 2012
True Pain and True Joy
Recently, I was walking alongside a beautiful, still lake, and I asked the Lord, "What needs to happen between us between now and Easter? Is there anything you'd like me to do, to offer up, to repent for?" The answer I received, "Lynne, there is nothing I want you to do for me, and there is nothing to be done."
Nothing to be done. It's the line a loved one of a sick or hospitalized relative may dread hearing most.
One thing that we do during the 40 Days is take extra time to consider Jesus Christ's passion, his suffering and sacrifice of his life for us. But what does that mean? In the Lord's response to me, I heard Him say, "My pain? Consider your own."
Sometimes, in my flesh, there is nothing more painful for me that to sit by and watch Him do everything - bring everything into existence, bring me into existence, appear as both man and God, live for me, die for me, and rise again, all for me and the rest of humanity. The pain is contained in my own helplessness and lack of role in the fundamental work of salvation. Dying to self-reliance and pride is painful - truly painful.
But faith in Him can transform this pain into the greatest joy. He can give us the courage and humility to receive His love.
Praise be to Him, for there is nothing to be done; He has done all.
Nothing to be done. It's the line a loved one of a sick or hospitalized relative may dread hearing most.
One thing that we do during the 40 Days is take extra time to consider Jesus Christ's passion, his suffering and sacrifice of his life for us. But what does that mean? In the Lord's response to me, I heard Him say, "My pain? Consider your own."
Sometimes, in my flesh, there is nothing more painful for me that to sit by and watch Him do everything - bring everything into existence, bring me into existence, appear as both man and God, live for me, die for me, and rise again, all for me and the rest of humanity. The pain is contained in my own helplessness and lack of role in the fundamental work of salvation. Dying to self-reliance and pride is painful - truly painful.
But faith in Him can transform this pain into the greatest joy. He can give us the courage and humility to receive His love.
Praise be to Him, for there is nothing to be done; He has done all.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
New poem re: redemption!
New work, a few weeks old.
City Bird
I. Detroit Bird
From street to street
deep within the alley,
a single, fractured brick,
cradles the delicate, shallow nest,
it lays open, waiting, breakable.
What makes a home a home?
my nest-less, long heart walks
damp night streets,
searching for that sparrow’s song,
bright tune: let me find you
singing in the night,
gentle sound, you still the quaking,
hungry, roaring of my fears –
they often know no bounds.
Sweet bird, nesting, resting
in the street beneath its hymn
I curl my body, womb:
every note says, ‘Hush now,
not one falls without My knowing.’
II. Dublin Bird*
In Dublin, on June 16, 1904,
Leopold Bloom grips his cane
more tightly than his life;
Bloom carries the boy Stephen Dedalus
home in his armory arms
because he loves him.
When Bloom loosens his grip on the cane,
I imagine he turns his life over to God;
through his loosening,
I have seen myself,
lost in God’s love for me.
Breathe in, breathe out –
deep, from the diaphragm: what do you feel?
the sparrow’s song rushing with the breeze
over your summer tan, feathers everywhere,
wings do not mean that she will fall,
she will play, she will fly.
III. Hope Bird
.
.
.
fly
for shall
Wait
you
for shall
Walk you
Run
---
There were some formatting issues, and I couldn't paste in the last stanza (though it reads all right without it - the last stanza is, I think, a very nice coda). If you want the full poem, let me know, and I'll send it along.
*Stanzas 4 and 5 reference Ulysses by James Joyce. The scene highlighted in this poem is in "Circe" - Chapter 15. The important thing to know: Leopold Bloom and Stephen are both searching, wrestling with their problems and the meaning of their lives - Bloom is a father, Stephen a son, and their lives intersect, and Bloom is a kind of father to Stephen. Bloom loosening the grip on his cane is like the image we sometimes use when we talk about "letting go of our grip on the steering wheel" of our lives.
City Bird
I. Detroit Bird
From street to street
deep within the alley,
a single, fractured brick,
cradles the delicate, shallow nest,
it lays open, waiting, breakable.
What makes a home a home?
my nest-less, long heart walks
damp night streets,
searching for that sparrow’s song,
bright tune: let me find you
singing in the night,
gentle sound, you still the quaking,
hungry, roaring of my fears –
they often know no bounds.
Sweet bird, nesting, resting
in the street beneath its hymn
I curl my body, womb:
every note says, ‘Hush now,
not one falls without My knowing.’
II. Dublin Bird*
In Dublin, on June 16, 1904,
Leopold Bloom grips his cane
more tightly than his life;
Bloom carries the boy Stephen Dedalus
home in his armory arms
because he loves him.
When Bloom loosens his grip on the cane,
I imagine he turns his life over to God;
through his loosening,
I have seen myself,
lost in God’s love for me.
Breathe in, breathe out –
deep, from the diaphragm: what do you feel?
the sparrow’s song rushing with the breeze
over your summer tan, feathers everywhere,
wings do not mean that she will fall,
she will play, she will fly.
III. Hope Bird
.
.
.
fly
for shall
Wait
you
for shall
Walk you
Run
---
There were some formatting issues, and I couldn't paste in the last stanza (though it reads all right without it - the last stanza is, I think, a very nice coda). If you want the full poem, let me know, and I'll send it along.
*Stanzas 4 and 5 reference Ulysses by James Joyce. The scene highlighted in this poem is in "Circe" - Chapter 15. The important thing to know: Leopold Bloom and Stephen are both searching, wrestling with their problems and the meaning of their lives - Bloom is a father, Stephen a son, and their lives intersect, and Bloom is a kind of father to Stephen. Bloom loosening the grip on his cane is like the image we sometimes use when we talk about "letting go of our grip on the steering wheel" of our lives.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
a prayer i try to pray daily and often
Come put your light in me;
Come let me be your light.
Inspired by Blessed Mother Teresa and the words our Lord spoke to her as she delved deeper into His call on her life. See Come Be My Light.
The order of the two lines is important. Unless He, the Light of the World, is in alive in us, we cannot be a light to others.
We are called to be like lamps; we hold the flame, we are transparent, and the flame burns brightly, is the center of attention. We are transparent, but in holding Jesus in our hearts and letting him exist there deeply, we draw others closer to the flame, to the one true light, Jesus Christ. We can bear Jesus to the world.
But first, we must pray that He come and be pleased to dwell within us, more and more.
Come let me be your light.
Inspired by Blessed Mother Teresa and the words our Lord spoke to her as she delved deeper into His call on her life. See Come Be My Light.
The order of the two lines is important. Unless He, the Light of the World, is in alive in us, we cannot be a light to others.
We are called to be like lamps; we hold the flame, we are transparent, and the flame burns brightly, is the center of attention. We are transparent, but in holding Jesus in our hearts and letting him exist there deeply, we draw others closer to the flame, to the one true light, Jesus Christ. We can bear Jesus to the world.
But first, we must pray that He come and be pleased to dwell within us, more and more.
Monday, February 27, 2012
A Sure Investment
If I knew of one unfailing stock that I could invest in, would I not invest all of my assets, cash, credit, everything? Yes, I would.
The economy: It's in national media, it's affecting our friends' and families' lives, it's affecting our lives. Lots of people are talking about it.
So back to the image of the stock market: If I knew of one, just one, sure stock option, I would invest everything I had (which, being a social work student following a season of mission work, eh, is not much in the world's eyes but it's okay :) ). Last semester I wrote a research paper about the Great Depression and the Great Recession, and as I studied the Great Depression, all the theories and arguments about its causes and effects, who was in office in what position where and the environment of Wall Street in the early 20th century, this reality, straightforward and simple, became clear to me:
A singular cause of the Great Depression was greed.
I do not mean to oversimplify the catastrophic and multi-factorial social issues of poverty and the Great Depression, but I have to observe that perhaps one cause of the Great Depression was not so much "corporate greed" as it was just plain old human greed, the kind of selfishness that has always existed since the Fall, as Richard J. Foster observes in a great book I recommend entitled The Freedom of Simplicity.
We are not that much holier and better, if at all, than those who were "responsible" for the stock market crash in 1929. Several books and articles I found blamed stock traders and investment bankers and industrialism itself openly for the crash and depression. But the truth is that the whole country was caught up in a kind of Corinthian-esque lavish lifestyle. To blame a few people or a single economic reality for a corporate ("corporate" meaning "done by or characteristic of a group of individuals acting together") social problem of material gluttony and endemic self-sufficiency - falls short because that narrative does contain the full truth.
In many areas of our lives, I think Christians can make an almost full investment. As long as we as Christians, or if not, us nice and good people, invest in the right direction, we cut ourselves a break. Or maybe as long as we're not in a leadership position that carries with it overt trappings of power and prestige, we cut ourselves a break. We forget - I forget every day, several times a day - that God made us for greatness and in His eyes, each of us is a leader and made in His image.
So to where do we turn? Where is the sure investment to be found? In the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the one sure bet. His promise is something I can fully invest in, without doubt, without a backup plan. His promise may not be fully fulfilled, but I can accept it from Him on good credit. While we are in this world, we will have to hedge our bets, utilized a kind of this-age shrewdness, as we navigate a world in which evil and sin exist. We will have to make due with having one solid plan and then having back up plans, options B and C.
But: in prayer, we are free to have just one Plan A - because that is what Jesus Christ has come to be for us. And we actually do harm to ourselves and others when we keep other options open and fail to fully invest in the Lord. Today, in this age, if we have multiple bank accounts, for example, if we spread our assets, some might call us "wise." In the world, having two bank accounts or two credit cards, does no harm to us. But in the Kingdom of Heaven, this attitude of hedging our bets does real damage, and splitting the odds is not a good thing.
And because we have to live this way in the world, this is precisely why we need to keep investing fully in God. We need a haven from that necessity.
Do you know the feeling of sinking into a comfortable armchair? The Lord says, "Come, sink into me. Sink into my love."
So: lest we fill our lives with choruses of "prudence" that beneath their veneer can often actually amount to nothing more than variations on self-sufficiency and doubt in God's faithfulness, let us return to Him. Come, let us return to Him, as Hosea and this season of Lent encourage us to do. It's quite simple, and it'll all work out, if we live in the freedom of simplicity.
And let us pray for the world, particularly for those who are in poverty, that is, without basic necessities. But perhaps most of all, let's pray for those who are in poverty because they still hunger for the reality of God's imperishable and fiery love for them; and I am one of "them."
Thank you, Lord Jesus;
Come, Lord Jesus.
The economy: It's in national media, it's affecting our friends' and families' lives, it's affecting our lives. Lots of people are talking about it.
So back to the image of the stock market: If I knew of one, just one, sure stock option, I would invest everything I had (which, being a social work student following a season of mission work, eh, is not much in the world's eyes but it's okay :) ). Last semester I wrote a research paper about the Great Depression and the Great Recession, and as I studied the Great Depression, all the theories and arguments about its causes and effects, who was in office in what position where and the environment of Wall Street in the early 20th century, this reality, straightforward and simple, became clear to me:
A singular cause of the Great Depression was greed.
I do not mean to oversimplify the catastrophic and multi-factorial social issues of poverty and the Great Depression, but I have to observe that perhaps one cause of the Great Depression was not so much "corporate greed" as it was just plain old human greed, the kind of selfishness that has always existed since the Fall, as Richard J. Foster observes in a great book I recommend entitled The Freedom of Simplicity.
We are not that much holier and better, if at all, than those who were "responsible" for the stock market crash in 1929. Several books and articles I found blamed stock traders and investment bankers and industrialism itself openly for the crash and depression. But the truth is that the whole country was caught up in a kind of Corinthian-esque lavish lifestyle. To blame a few people or a single economic reality for a corporate ("corporate" meaning "done by or characteristic of a group of individuals acting together") social problem of material gluttony and endemic self-sufficiency - falls short because that narrative does contain the full truth.
In many areas of our lives, I think Christians can make an almost full investment. As long as we as Christians, or if not, us nice and good people, invest in the right direction, we cut ourselves a break. Or maybe as long as we're not in a leadership position that carries with it overt trappings of power and prestige, we cut ourselves a break. We forget - I forget every day, several times a day - that God made us for greatness and in His eyes, each of us is a leader and made in His image.
So to where do we turn? Where is the sure investment to be found? In the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the one sure bet. His promise is something I can fully invest in, without doubt, without a backup plan. His promise may not be fully fulfilled, but I can accept it from Him on good credit. While we are in this world, we will have to hedge our bets, utilized a kind of this-age shrewdness, as we navigate a world in which evil and sin exist. We will have to make due with having one solid plan and then having back up plans, options B and C.
But: in prayer, we are free to have just one Plan A - because that is what Jesus Christ has come to be for us. And we actually do harm to ourselves and others when we keep other options open and fail to fully invest in the Lord. Today, in this age, if we have multiple bank accounts, for example, if we spread our assets, some might call us "wise." In the world, having two bank accounts or two credit cards, does no harm to us. But in the Kingdom of Heaven, this attitude of hedging our bets does real damage, and splitting the odds is not a good thing.
And because we have to live this way in the world, this is precisely why we need to keep investing fully in God. We need a haven from that necessity.
Do you know the feeling of sinking into a comfortable armchair? The Lord says, "Come, sink into me. Sink into my love."
So: lest we fill our lives with choruses of "prudence" that beneath their veneer can often actually amount to nothing more than variations on self-sufficiency and doubt in God's faithfulness, let us return to Him. Come, let us return to Him, as Hosea and this season of Lent encourage us to do. It's quite simple, and it'll all work out, if we live in the freedom of simplicity.
And let us pray for the world, particularly for those who are in poverty, that is, without basic necessities. But perhaps most of all, let's pray for those who are in poverty because they still hunger for the reality of God's imperishable and fiery love for them; and I am one of "them."
Thank you, Lord Jesus;
Come, Lord Jesus.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
A Lenten Poem
Broken Vessels
written 2009, edited 2012
A broken vessel
lies scattered on the floor
light floods space
Light holds the pieces
in His hands, healing each
place where a shadow, a dark spot
suffocated each does not know
air and light, it does not
grow it does not heal.
Without light pieces
brokenness dripping
wasted perfume, disparate,
separate and stagnant;
these do not move, they forget
they fit together, they held
they are meant to hold.
Beloved still yet to be loved
in the chair across the room
sits, hands in lap, open:
in his tender compassion dawn
breaks upon us even as we
broken vessels wait.
Do you feel your sharp edges?
Do you rust with time?
My dear broken ones, broken: wait.
written 2009, edited 2012
A broken vessel
lies scattered on the floor
light floods space
Light holds the pieces
in His hands, healing each
place where a shadow, a dark spot
suffocated each does not know
air and light, it does not
grow it does not heal.
Without light pieces
brokenness dripping
wasted perfume, disparate,
separate and stagnant;
these do not move, they forget
they fit together, they held
they are meant to hold.
Beloved still yet to be loved
in the chair across the room
sits, hands in lap, open:
in his tender compassion dawn
breaks upon us even as we
broken vessels wait.
Do you feel your sharp edges?
Do you rust with time?
My dear broken ones, broken: wait.
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